Limbo....

Yeah, most of you are possibly wondering what the word means...well if you look up a dictionary you will get into more confusion.

Well, most of you know that I am this comic lover. I love comics. I simply love the way all these superheroes tend to go through all these struggles but somehow still come out on top. Yeah, you got it right...deep inside, I regard myself as a hero. Yeah, i may not have super powers and I am possibly not as fit as Batman is. But still, i HAVE been through so much and I am still surviving so much. I try to help out people in dire need and hardship...be them my friends or even total strangers.

Gosh, there's this one...this rickshaw-puller cried to Saad and me two months back about losing everything in the blaze that occurred in Rayerbazar. His daughter has also gone through this infection in her leg and they may have to amputate her or something. so he asked for money and after a few seconds, i gave him more than a thousand taka just like that. He had sworn to pay me the amount in about a week or so. but its two months now and I have already forgiven the guy. It could be that he deceived me...it could also be that he got himself into even worse situations and cannot pay me back. Whatever it is, why should I be bothered about this?

But why do I sound depressed...well you ever have those times when you have this feeling that you dont want to have. But somehow, it still happens and you cant really help it. Well that's what I am going through. Being a Muslim, I was taught never to give up. No not by my parents, they are even more immature than me. By the Holy Book that I basically believe . ..

Now, what's a limbo? well, its this state where you dont know where you will end up. Its this point of probability...ever do the math. Yeah, they were pretty easy with all the 'tree diagrams' back in the day. Well I am in a tree diagram currently. Where 'Yes' and 'no' can lead to 'HAPPINESS' and 'Sorrow'. Where 'happiness' will be subject to somebody else' 'courage' and 'self-esteem'. Where 'sorrow' will be the result of that particular someone else' 'Self-hatred' and 'Dread'.

Yeah, now you can realize, why I am feeling this way. And know what else, even though, I feel so dreadful at the moment...as If i am dying with the suspense and the climax and the fact that I will be in thorough pain of this sort at least (InshaALLAH) till four months, I still have a feeling that somehow, that person will shine through. That somehow, despite all the problems she has been through, and all the times in her life, that she had seldom made 'the right choices' and 'the sound decisions', she will somehow, do it this one time.

My readers....pray for me. Please...through the goodness of your heart, please pray for me.

You have no clue how decisive this point in my life will be for my future.
take care everyone. bye for now.